


Henosis

by leastamongequals



Category: The Last of Us
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-18
Updated: 2015-08-18
Packaged: 2018-04-15 11:18:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4604715
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leastamongequals/pseuds/leastamongequals
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ellie and Joel achieve unity.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Henosis

**Author's Note:**

> My beloved is to me a sachet of myrrh  
> that lies between my breasts.
> 
> -Song of Songs 1:13 ESV

When Joel finally takes her, Ellie weeps. It is unexpected, to say the least. "What's wrong, baby girl? Did I hurt you?" He stiffens and stills, and the strain of it causes beads of sweat to form at his brow. It takes a while for Ellie to reply. She slowly opens her eyes, which she had clenched shut at the contact, and Joel is intoxicated by the beauty of them, two small, perfect verdant saucers.

He leans on one elbow, and brushes his thumb across her lower eyelid. Lacrimal moisture collects on the digit, and Joel licks the edge of his thumb, savoring the salty taste like the delicacy it is. Esta chica nunca llora, he thinks: this girl never cries. But she is no longer a girl. 

At 18, Ellie is a woman, the most beautiful person Joel has ever known. Her thin boyish frame has disappeared. Years of chronic stress and starvation in childhood have stunted her growth, but the proper nutrition and stability of a permanent home in Jackson have made her flourish. Gone is the gaunt and haggard adolescent who trekked with him over 2,000 miles across the country.

Ellie leans up and presses her lips against Joel's forehead. She nestles her face into his neck, her response a muffled mumble. "No, I'm okay. It doesn't hurt - okay, that's bullshit, it does hurt a little - but that's not why I'm crying. I'm just relieved. You don't know how long I've been waiting for this."

"Don't I? You don't think I've been waitin' just as long as you have?" Joel kisses her, drinks her in. His beard is rough against her skin, but Ellie likes the feel of it. "Joel, please move. I want to feel you. " Yes ma'am." Joel obliges, thrusts into her so fiercely that he pins her to the ground. "Sorry..." Joel shifts and rises, his knees planted on either side of her.

As he looks down at her, he is amazed by the pure trust and love that he sees in her eyes. He leans down, cups her breasts in his hands. He squeezes and kneads, replaces his hands with his mouth at her command. Her nipples stiffen under the attention of his tongue, and she makes the mewling sound of a pleased kitten.

"Oh my god, that f-feels so fucking good." Ellie closes her eyes. Tears squeeze out from her closed lids when Joel thrusts again, and again, setting up a rhythm that makes their every breath come in short, staccato gasps. Ellie reaches up to touch him, traces his lips, cheeks, and chin. Then, she brings her hand to her chest, palm pressed flat.

"What are you doing?" Joel slows and starts to pull out, but Ellie plants her free hand firmly on his hip. "Please don't." She opens her eyes and reaches up to kiss him. "I don't want you to stop."

Joel shifts forward, placing his hand on top of hers. "Are you trying to learn me by heart?"

Ellie smiles and blushes as she answers: "I already know you by heart, Joel. You are inside my heart."

In the next instant Joel holds Ellie to him, and flips over so that she is on top of him. Stunned, she does not move until Joel instructs her to do so in a guttural growl. Tentatively, she raises herself up, holding onto Joel's sides to give her leverage. She stops when she has all but separated them, and thrusts herself down so that they both emit deep groans of pleasure as they reach a simultaneous release.

* * *

Hours later, as Joel sleeps soundly beside her, Ellie explores him. Joel's body is magnificent, a map of where he has been - where they both have been - and her shield and compass. Her fingers trace over innumerable scars, remnants of gunshots and stab wounds, some accrued long before her birth, and many from their year of pilgrimage. 

Her fingers skim the scar from his impalement, and she briefly recalls the bleak desperation she felt, the burning resolve as she sutured the wound closed with a sewing needle and thread pulled out of her sweater. He would live, he must. Ellie realizes in hindsight that that was the moment she knew she loved him, when she could not imagine a life without him.

"I love you, Joel," she murmurs in the darkness. "I love you, I love you."

She feels it immensely, feels it so strongly that it is overwhelming. Sometimes it scares her just how much she depends on him. He is her world, her rock and her salvation. She cannot adequately express with words the depth of her love. With that in mind, Ellie settles for a brief kiss and curls up beside him, holding his hand, as she falls asleep. 

"Goodnight, old man. I love you."

Eyes closed, Joel smiles. "And I love you, baby girl. Goodnight."

**Author's Note:**

> The title is an ancient Greek term meaning "oneness" or "unity." Its meaning is very metaphysical, and it seemed an appropriate word to encompass the relationship between the characters - a union that is spiritual, emotional, and physical.
> 
> When Joel asks Ellie if she is 'trying to learn [him] by heart,' and she says he 'is already in [her] heart,' I am repeating almost verbatim lines of dialogue from "A Little Princess" by Frances Hodgson Burnett. These lines were so profound to me in childhood that they stayed with me, and when I was writing it seemed the perfect thing for Ellie and Joel to say.


End file.
